Forever Reminded of You
by Psyche Eros
Summary: Her gaze fell upon him every time he looked in the mirror... She made sure he would never forget.


**A/N#1: So... Just to clear things up, this is my own version of a continuation for chapter 74 of the manga (which I do not own, sadly), which is when Tamaki decides to leave the Host Club. Read on, my pretties!**

**Oh, if you need mood music while reading this (which I recommend; it really sets the mood), listen to "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson.**

* * *

_**PROLOGUE:**_

"I'm leaving the Host Club."

The sentence rang around the room.

"You've done this once already, boss, it's not as funny the second time around," said Hikaru with a nervous laugh.

But those deep violet eyes gave no hint of a joke. They were uncharacteristically cold.

"Tama-chan?" Hunny asked. "Has Lady Éclair forced herself on you again?"

"No, this time I'm going of my own accord."

His voice was harsh, unlike the Tamaki they knew so well.

"Why, sempai?"

Her voice echoed in the silence.

They simply looked at each other. He gave no reply and left the room.

As the Host Club gazed out the window into the continuous downpour of rain, they saw him get into his car and drive off.

"I'm going to go after him."

Without another word, she left the other members and ran out.

* * *

She had to be insane to run after a car, but the girl never really gave much thought to anything when it came to saving other people. Kyoya had called a limousine to pick them up immediately and the rest of the club sped after her and Tamaki. They caught up with the girl, and let her climb in the car.

As soon as they caught sight of Tamaki's ride, the girl flung the door open and began to shout.

"Sempai!!!"

Inside his car, Tamaki heard that voice through the pounding of the rain. It was a moment of weakness, and he ordered the chauffeur to stop. He stepped out of the car. So did she.

"Tamaki-sempai…"

Before anything else could be said between them, an out of control truck careened its way towards the pair who were standing in the middle of the road.

* * *

The Host Club, or rather, what was left of it, stared at their beloved leader who lay broken on the hospital bed. They were silent. Too stunned to make a sound. This whole moment felt surreal. It was certainly a nightmare.

The surgery was over. It had been successful. All that was left now was to wait for Tamaki to regain consciousness. But it felt like no one really wanted him to wake up, because once he did, then the truth would have to be laid bare, and no one had the heart to tell him anything that had happened in the last twelve hours.

Kyoya stood by his best friend's bed. Hunny clung on to his beloved Usa-chan, and Mori's arms, though wrapped around him, were of little comfort. The hands of the Hitachiin brothers were intertwined; one steady, one shaking. Hikaru's rage racked through his body, and he was deprived of speech.

"Maybe _you_ should tell him, Kyoya-sempai," Kaoru said. "When he wakes up."

Kyoya merely arranged his prescription glasses on the bridge of his nose without any further reaction. Of all the tasks assigned to him, this was the hardest. There was a vice-like grip on his chest as he glanced at his best friend.

Nothing more was said after that. The hours dragged by, and Tamaki lay still on his bed. Not one of the people in the room even felt like sleeping. A nurse stopped in and gave them coffee… Commoner's coffee. As they sipped it, they remembered that girl in the baggy sweater and glasses who had bought and served them this drink countless times before. She should be here with them as well, waiting for the blonde boy to open his eyes. Not even a shadow of her was in sight. And deep in they boys' hearts, they knew that they would never see that shadow again…

* * *

Hikaru clenched his fist and stepped outside. All the way to the elevator, through the hospital lobby, until he reached the doors, he ran. He made his way outside just as fast. Out there it was pouring; heavy raindrops pelting him like liquid bullets. Lightning streaked the midnight sky, and almost immediately the thunder followed it, rumbling like an invisible giant.

Images of a frightened girl huddled under a church altar flitted through his mind. It had been storming, just like this. He remembered how it felt to hold that petite form in his arms, easing her shivering and her fears.

The lightning flashed again.

It had also been raining heavily when he realized how much that girl meant to him…

Twelve hours ago, the thunder had been exploding just like this, too. But not even that sound could block out the noise made by a terrible screeching of brakes, screams, and bodies thudding to the ground.

Hikaru's legs gave way. His knees hit the pavement, and he simply knelt there, his angry tears flowing down his flushed face in time with the rain.

_Stupid Boss… This was all his fault… ALL HIS FAULT…_

He had tried to abandon the Host Club… abandon us, his friends!!! …no, HIS FAMILY…

And he knew she wouldn't let him leave… Oh, he knew. But he let his selfishness get to him… Of all the times to be an idiot about his feelings... to be an ignorant fool…

And he, Hikaru, had given way, so that the boss could be with her, even if it meant losing the one person he ever truly loved besides his twin…

But he never thought he'd lose her forever…

Curse this life, why didn't he act sooner? He could have been the one… Instead of her, he could've done it… But he let her, he even promised...

A gentle hand clasped his shoulder, bringing him back to reality and pulling him to his feet. He found his twin's amber eyes locked on his, and suddenly warm arms held him close.

"Hikaru…"

"M-My fault, Kaoru…"

"No, it's not. It's nobody's fault. And if anyone's to blame..." Kaoru paused, unsure. "...it's the boss."

"But when she told us what she wanted to do, we let her… _I_ let her…"

"It was her choice."

"But I could've done… she didn't need to… It could've been _me_…"

Kaoru held his brothers face in his palms and looked into that identical face. Their emotions had always mirrored each other, and this moment was no different.

"She made this decision. She didn't want anyone else to go in vain."

Hikaru saw that his brother's eyes were overflowing as he spoke. Even now, it continued to amaze and somewhat embarrass him to admit that his younger brother was the more rational twin.

"...besides," Kaoru continued, biting his lip. "What would I be now if you were the one who took her place? She knew that, that's why she wouldn't let any of us do it… As usual, she never thought once about herself… Only about us… She did this for the Club, for us… so from now on, let's not let her efforts go to waste, okay…?"

He couldn't go on. All words had been swept away by the howling storm.

And the two boys held each other tight, crying in the rain as they never had before.

* * *

Back in the hospital room, Tamaki had returned to his senses. His eyelids slid back slowly until his eyes were fully open. His vision was a bit blurry. His head felt heavy as lead, and so did his legs. There was a searing kind of numbness spreading through him.

He started to become aware of his surroundings as his eyes adjusted. A black-haired boy wearing spectacles was there. A small blonde held on to a tall, manly figure. As he looked around, two auburn-headed people made their way into the room, sopping wet.

…The Host Club…

"Tama-chan…?" a timid voice began.

The others snapped to attention.

"How are you feeling, Tamaki?"

"Kyoya?" He struggled to sit up, but failed.

"Don't strain yourself now," Kyoya said. But there was something in his tone that wasn't supposed to be there.

Why was everyone looking at him like that?

Tamaki desperately searched his brain-and he remembered the accident. He remembered her. She was there, she had been with him…

"Why aren't any of you watching over Haruhi in her room?"

No one replied. He looked around at them all, almost pleadingly. They all averted his gaze. He tried to lift himself again, but to no avail.

"Boss, you really should just lie down for now," Kaoru said quietly.

Tamaki didn't listen.

"Calm yourself," Kyoya told him. "You've just been through a surgery. Acting like this will make matters worse."

"Why did you leave my darling daughter alone? Someone should be guarding her right now!"

A horrible sense of comprehension dawned on Tamaki. No, it couldn't be...

"Where's Haruhi?" he breathed, barely loud enough to be heard. "Where's Haruhi?" he repeated, louder this time.

He exerted all of his strength to be able to sit up, but Mori tipped him back down gently.

"She's not in any of the rooms, Tamaki," Kyoya began to say.

"You mean to say she's alright?" Tamaki replied, hardly daring to breathe, a tiny ray of relief making its way to him. "What's going on? I want to see my little girl!"

"Please, Tama-chan, this won't do you any good! Please lie down again!"

"Boss, quit it!"

Despite Kyoya, Kaoru and Hunny trying to get him to be quiet and relax back on his pillow, Tamaki managed to wrench himself out of Mori's grip. But this time, a second hand pinned him down.

"Shut up and do as you're told!" Hikaru yelled. His head was bowed down, still trying to hide his tears. "Do yourself some good, for once! You're still weak from your operation! So just shut the hell up for a while and lie down!"

Tamaki finally stopped fidgeting, more out of shock at being yelled at by Hikaru than anything else. His head swam, and his vision momentarily blurred again. "Ugh," he groaned, clutching his head.

"See? That's what you get," Kyoya sighed, exasperated.

After Tamaki had calmed down some more, he decided to ask some questions. "What happened?"

Kyoya was the one to reply. "Well, after you ran out on us earlier, we went after you. You remember what happened after you stepped out of your car?"

He nodded.

"Well, you injuries were severe. When we rushed you here, the doctors said that the impact had a great effect on your eyes, and you were almost blinded. Luckily, the operation saved your vision."

The most important question still niggled in the back of Tamaki's mind. "What about Haruhi, is she alright?"

The answer didn't come right away. Then Kyoya slowly spoke the words.

"Tamaki… Haruhi, well… She couldn't make it."

Only silence met the next few moments.

"You mean she couldn't make it to the hospital to visit me, right?"

They exchanged brief glances. When no one replied, he turned to Hikaru, whose hand was still on his chest.

"Hikaru?"

The Hitachiin's hand fell limply to his side, and he turned away. "She's gone."

* * *

The following days held only grief for everyone, especially the Host Club. There was a heavy sorrow in Tamaki's heart. Of course, he knew that he had caused Haruhi's death. Everyone around him made him feel that way despite the fact that they were trying to cheer him up. He would catch someone looking at him, then quickly look away as he glanced back. Haruhi's father couldn't even bear to look at him when he dropped by. Tamaki couldn't blame him; who would want to look at the murderer of his daughter?

But Ranka did have some parting words for Tamaki.

"She must have really loved you," he had said in a broken voice.

With that, he disappeared. The club never heard about him again.

The Host Club was by his side everyday. Yet he felt something different about the way they cast their looks at him. There was something very strange going on, but he couldn't put his finger on it, and the loss of Haruhi engulfed him in too much pain to be able to think of anything else.

When he had fully recovered and it was time for him to leave the hospital, his first trip, along with Kyoya and the others, was to Haruhi's grave. Kyoya had arranged for her to be buried in an expensive cemetery, and the chosen place was located in a beautiful spot near a small pond shaded with trees.

Anyone could feel the amount of sadness in the area. Strangely, a lot of people had chosen that day to visit Haruhi too. Ritsu Kasanoda was among those who grieved. Renge was there as well, with the class representative. Mei and Misuzu arrived not soon after. Umehito Nekozawa had abandoned his cloak and wig for a decent set of clothes. A number of the girls who constantly asked for Haruhi to host them at school were also present.

Mori could be seen shedding his tears with Hunny by his side, their roles reversed. Even the normally insensitive Kyoya, who usually didn't have a trace of humanity on his features, now wore an expression of utmost pain. Not to everyone's surprise, the Hitachiins were silently expressing their grief. They had been closest to her, especially Hikaru, who still harbored feelings of resentment towards himself and Tamaki, who suffered most of all.

As the day grew late, everyone left, and they skirted around Tamaki as they said their goodbyes, and he was used to it by now.

After paying their respects, the Club made its way to the pond. They reminisced silently about the times they had with Haruhi. Tamaki grieved, yet he didn't cry. His conscience was full of guilt, and he felt undeserving of life. His Haruhi, gone, dashed away from him, yet this was his fault. Why did she have to die, and the most that could have happened to him was only to lose his sense of sight? He expressed this out loud.

"For what I've done, I should be dead as well…or blind, at the very least. I should have lost my eyes, if not my life."

Everyone looked at each other again.

Tamaki gazed mournfully into the pond. He began to cry, startled that it had taken him this long to let the tears flow. They dripped into the pond, rippling its surface ever so slightly.

Then he saw something and gave a very audible gasp.

A pair of chocolate-brown eyes was looking back at him from the water. _There was something extremely familiar about those eyes…_

He blinked his own eyes. The pair in the water did the same. He leaned towards the pond, almost smiling, half-expecting Haruhi to come out of the surface. But as he moved closer to those brown eyes, he realized that he was looking at his own reflection.

Haruhi's eyes… why were they in his face?

The truth knocked the wind out of him, and he shook uncontrollably. Everyone gathered around him, not speaking, as if words would only make it worse.

_Why?_ Tamaki cried to the wind. Why did she always have to be so good to him? She always gave him what he needed, even though he wasn't deserving of anything... She always had to be so willing, so ready...

Tamaki's sobs racked him violently. He would never have been able to forgive himself. And now, he would constantly be reminded of his crime. He vaguely noticed his friends hands gently patting him on the back.

So... This is what the Club had been so unwilling to tell him...

He realized why people couldn't bear to look at him anymore.

And he realized that from now on, whenever he looked at his reflection, all he would see was her. He wouldn't be able to look at himself, either.

How would he even keep on living without her, knowing that she had payed for his life? The pain consumed him, engulfed him until there was nothing left. The gentle gaze of those dark eyes would forever be upon him...

He would never be free...

There was a tentative movement near him, then Hikaru's reflection gently sat next to his own. The Hitachiin boy was still grief-stricken, still heart-broken, but he knew what Haruhi would have wanted, and it gave him the strength to smile.

"Take care of her eyes. Haruhi will live on. In you."

* * *

_**EPILOGUE:**_

The Host Club scrambled out of the car, only to meet a horrible sight. The two lay on the concrete, and Tamaki was unconscious. But Haruhi was stirring feebly.

Kyoya was already calling for an ambulance.

Hikaru was quick to get to her side. "Hold on," he heard himself say in panic. He held her hand, and he felt his stomach lurch at the sight of Haruhi drenched in her own blood.

* * *

In the hospital, the two were rushed to the emergency room, and the club was met with grave news. Tamaki would be able to survive, but he would be blind, unless a transplant was performed immediately… Haruhi, on the other hand, had little time left. There was nothing more they could do for her; they, the best doctors the Ootori name had to offer. The extent of damage on her was too extreme. After relaying this news, the doctor left the Host Club to dwell in their newly found despair.

They weren't allowed to go to Tamaki's room yet, so they headed off to Haruhi without a second thought. There she was, plugged into bleeping and blinking machines. They stopped for a fraction of a second, their mind trying to comprehend what lay before their eyes. She looked so fragile, so small in the center of that big white room. Suddenly her hand twitched.

When they reached her, her eyes fluttered open weakly.

"Tamaki-sempai?"

She pleaded with them to tell her about him, and because they feared that she would strain herself more if they kept it a secret, they told her what the doctor said about him; that his vision would forever be impaired unless they found an eye donor.

A doctor came in to check on her, and asked the Host Club to leave for a moment.

* * *

Haruhi could feel inside her that her life was drawing to a close. Tamaki... That silly goofball... He has so many dreams, Haruhi thought. So many things he still wanted to do...

Places to go, sights to see...

One of those sights would be his mother.

Haruhi made her decision and told the doctor, who smiled sadly and agreed.

* * *

The Host Club was beside her again right after the doctor left. They stood like solemn sentinels, until her faint voice beckoned them to draw near.

"Promise me something, guys…" she whispered.

Everyone closed in to hear her words.

"Give him what's left of me."

Haruhi's heart monitor went blank and a long beep resonated around the room as her last breath escaped her smiling lips.

She was gone.

* * *

**A/N#2: First story's a one-shot. Please read and tell me what you think, so I can get some opinion-based ways as on how to write next time! ^3^**

**PS: I really do appreciate reviews a lot. Please be kind and click that pretty green button! **


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